Scotch Sporting Lists – Lamest Team Names
Welcome to a new feature on Scotch Sporting; Scotch Sporting Lists
Our first instalment was inspired by this week’s podcast
We happily present you the lamest team names in sports
| 10 . The University of Hawaii Rainbow Warriors
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| Nothing strikes fear the hearts of your appoints like an eye catching prism of colours. How do they beat there opponents? With FABULOUSNESS |
| 9. Tulane University’s Green Wave
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| Like a budge version of the Crimson tide, which itself just missed the cut (as a woman, the Crimson Tide isn’t something we normally cheer for) the Tulane Green Wave make things more confusing with a logo that looks like an angry booger, and a mascot thats a molting bird |
| 8. New Orleans Pelicans
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| The only major league franchise to make the list, the New Orleans Pelicans name seems worse when you put it against other NBA team names like the Golden State Warriors, The Toronto Raptors and Chicago bulls. And also when you consider there are other birds native to New Orleans with more intimidating reputations like the Nighthawk, the albatross or the golden eagle.
Nope. F*** It! Pelican. Cuz they can scoop sh*t
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| 7. The Amherst College Lord Jeffs
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| “Lady Von FickleBum, I’d like to meet the distinguished Lord Jeff, along with his brother whom is also Lord Jeff and their son and nephew’s both Also Lord Jeff.”
“Ah yes, the Lord Jeffs” |
| 6. The University of Arkansas at Monticello Boll Weevils
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| This is a boll weevil.
They are a sh*tty bug that eats crops. I’m not sure if UAM is trying to be ironic, but I don’t think I’d want to be on a team that was synonymous with infestation, senseless destruction and general annoyance |
| 5. The MIT Engineers
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| Just the top notch level of creativity one would expect from an MIT
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| 4. Wichita State Shockers
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| After I’m finished writing this, I’m going straight to Urban Dictionary and looking up the real definiation of a Wichita Shocker
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| 3. Stanford Cardinal
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| Singular. AN cardinal. And not the bird either, their team name refers to the colour Cardinal. As in “Darling, that cardinal blouse looks abosultelt divine on you”
Also their mascot is a tree. Because #yolo |
| 2. Coastal Carolina Chanticleers
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| As well as being an amazing alliteration, a Chanticleer is just a fancy ass French name for a giant chicken.
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| 1. Tennessee Volunteers
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| “Here Come the Volunteers
We’re not being paid so we hope you cheer We hope we win on the field today! this volunteer work will look great on our resume!” – Tennesee Volunteers School Song
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